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  • Writer's pictureJennifer Jade Merrihue


I can find joy in anything.

Including fighting, poverty, + stress.

I used to use this muscle of mine all the time. Anytime anything bad happened to me or others, I would receive it with:

“Who do I want to be in this moment?”

“When I look back on this, what do I want to remember of the way I handled this?”

“What do I want to bring to the people around me?”

“What can I bring to this experience that would make me excited”

“How can I make this moment special and memorable?”

This got me through impossible things like my mom being diagnosed with cancer. Or my best friend's family member dying suddenly and horrifically, to a million other things.

In both cases, this muscle was an automatic go-to. My inner warrior tuned in. I made our space warm and comfortable, filled each day with things that brought us peace and pleasure. I used everything from creature comforts to treats, snacks, warm drinks, and beautiful things like flower petals we could throw into a lake in memory of the deceased.

Ceremony can feel very beautiful during uncertain or impossible times. Things with flavor can hack our physical state with pleasure, even when pleasure seems impossible under the circumstances.

I practiced this muscle of mine for years as a child. I had parents that made an adventure out of everything. They taught me a lot.

On my own, I learned to make the best out of what was around me. Whether I had things or not, money or not, whether I was trapped in an airport for days or was frolicking free in paradise.

This muscle is something all of us can cultivate with a little guidance, practice, and creativity.

What do you have to get through the next few days/weeks/years that you are dreading? Ask yourself the questions above on the subject and see if you can’t shift the experiences you are dreading, one by one.

You would be surprised how much power you have over your daily experience. You know I’m a BIG proponent for doing less sh** you just don’t want to do. But hey, sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t like. And I want to remind you of the infinite freedom you have around the things you DON’T want to do.

Can you hack every other sensation while you attend a business meeting you are dreading?

Can you bring your favorite drink to it?

Wear your softest shirt?

Bring a pen you f***ing love writing with?

Bring melty cheese croissants, hot and crispy, and share them?

Ask if you can pace in the back of the room instead of sit because it makes you WAY more efficient and dilutes your anxiety?

Think bigger than you normally would. You only get one life, what if you invested more of your self into even the things that you DON’T want to do but have to?

Dress up. Bring delicacies. Make it special.

Instead of feeling like you’re a slave to the things you have to do, start reframing it and ask yourself- WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR ME TO ACTUALLY ENJOY THIS?

And then start doing those things.

See how quickly you can STOP dreading your life.

For me, it was simple things like being able to wear lingerie as work attire and still being professional AF.

Working from home.

Researching sex, love, relationships, behavior, communication for the rest of my life. Coaching and connecting with people who want to love themselves, each other, and what they do on the reg.

Cooking all the time.

Creating and going to dope sh** …, hanging out with and getting inspired by the most beautiful creative people who are also committed to bringing more pleasure, permission, and freedom into everyone's lives…

All of this took some time, permission, trial + error. MOST IMPORTANTLY it took finding what would give me pleasure and the feeling of adventure in leaving my safe, non-profit career, to go full-blown into being my own BOSS and workin’ for my own damn self.

I still have many hurdles to overcome by making them things I look forward to. I will share as I go so I can be a living example of what this looks like. As per usual, we in dis together!


For 1-1 coaching reach out!

Committed to your success through pleasure.

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