I used to have debilitating period cramps. It was 8 days of me wishing that I could live in darkness and be left alone to suffer.
There were times at work where I would hide in a different room because the pain had me cripple over.
I can’t tell you the last time I felt pain in my ovaries. I can’t even tell you last time I felt a single cramp.
I find myself missing that sensation.
This deep, epic, pain deep within my body.
A pain that I used to hate & medicate away. That I healed by finding curiosity in it, listening to what it wanted when I felt it.
I would go into a dark room.
I would cancel all my plans. I would stay in bed and work from there if I had to. And I began to love that pain. Given, it wasn’t as bad because I was actually listening to it.
I got to feel my ovaries exist within me. I got to be present to this primal piece of myself.
And I grew to love that pain.
And it’s gone. Healed completely. Which is a good thing. It means I listened. But it’s also a revealing thing because I didn’t know how I had grown to love that altered state.
What sensation in your life do you take for granted?