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  • Writer's picturejennifer jade merrihue


I used to have debilitating period cramps. It was 8 days of me wishing that I could live in darkness and be left alone to suffer.

There were times at work where I would hide in a different room because the pain had me cripple over.

I can’t tell you the last time I felt pain in my ovaries. I can’t even tell you last time I felt a single cramp.

I find myself missing that sensation.

This deep, epic, pain deep within my body.

A pain that I used to hate & medicate away. That I healed by finding curiosity in it, listening to what it wanted when I felt it.

I would go into a dark room.

I would cancel all my plans. I would stay in bed and work from there if I had to. And I began to love that pain. Given, it wasn’t as bad because I was actually listening to it.

I got to feel my ovaries exist within me. I got to be present to this primal piece of myself.

And I grew to love that pain.

And it’s gone. Healed completely. Which is a good thing. It means I listened. But it’s also a revealing thing because I didn’t know how I had grown to love that altered state.

What sensation in your life do you take for granted?

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