Jennifer Jade Merrihue
SWEATERS AND NIPPLES
I had the most wonderful beginning of the year. The clients that have found me are my dream clients.
With issues I have been through before or trained my whole life to support and make easier for people.
All were referrals.
And I started this year with more sparkly financial success that I’ve started any year, with a job that lights me up and makes me so happy and feels easy and natural. With lots of free time to write and create. With abundance and ease. With time for so much Netflix and sooo much chilling. That being said...
I come from latinas, when ever I have major success the urge to bury money in a mattress and not look at it is strong. I have a sneaking feeling that spending it is somehow means I won’t get it back again. That if I move too fast I’ll ruin things and it will crumble away from me into the wind. In many ways doing this communicates to my body that I don’t trust I can do it again. And again. And again. EVEN with the amount of evidence I now have that I have, can, and will do it again. It’s deeply ingrained in my body. This feeling of scarcity. That spending money is bad and dangerous.
A few years ago I realized that I was completely ignorant on finances in the US (I was raised in South America and Britain). I was good at saving, or I was good at hoarding money away for goals.
But I had no idea about credit/ was deeply suspicious of borrowing money from a bank you don’t have.
I had never had a credit card by the time I moved to California (24 years old). I thought at the time this was a good thing. But in America...you need credit.
I had no idea about investments, no idea about passive income. And I did not like it.
So this is what I did:
Asked any and all friends who worked in finance for advice
Asked my friends who were doing really well financially for advice (do not take advice from people whose financial reality is NOT the one you want).
Money Master the Game (fucking awesome)- book
I listen/follow the podcast Optimal Finance Daily (soooo recommend this)
Side Hustle School
The Tim Ferris show (and literally all of his books)
A buuuuuunch if others I’ll have to find and post later.
Now, I have so much longer to go but at least I have savings in an American Express high yield account, have investments, and am committed to educating women and teens everywhere on how to set themselves up for financial independence and total freedom as early as humanly possible.
THAT being said...
It’s still hard for me to pamper myself or to spend money on myself for no reason.
When it’s for a purpose, totally fine to go all out and enjoy for work, seminars, travel for work, etc.
But for JUST for pleasure? Nope.
So I met 2020’s good fortune and business with THE FOLLOWING, and I’m sharing because talking about money is taboo and I think we should change that.
I Arranged an adventure between me and a best friend. To go to the middle of nowhere to the coast to stay in a hotel room, pamper, hot tub under the stars and moon 🌙 next to the ocean. I want to go see the tide pools in the morning when it’s still crispy and foggy out. See the sea anemones line the waters of the drained out ocean and hop on its corales rocks. Go for a swim and then run to hotel room. Take a hot bath 🛁 get BACK in bed in robes and order waffles and eggs in bed.
I went into a shop and I bought the softest lavender CASHMERE sweater on the whole planet. I fucking love soft things. They make my skin feel like melting flower petals, sparkling pools of star constellations, and the smooth sweet smell of warm cacao on a snowy evening in front of a fire. I got this sweater for no reason or purpose other than it makes my nipples SO happy when I wear it. It’s glorious and it’s beautiful and it’s expensive because of its quality and it’s perfect and it makes me feel so fucking happy. A SIMPLE SWEATER GUYS. That same scarcity impulse lights up as I pull this sweater on. All of me wants to neatly tuck it away so it can live safely in my closet and last forever. Wear it on special occasions. Instead, I’m practicing the opposite- wearing it as much as possible because it feels so damn soft.
MY WHOLE DAMN POINT is our relationship to money is something we all live through everyday. It’s deeply rooted in our history, family dynamics, and culture. We should talk about it. Share about these moments where we break pattern to enjoy the moment because we are here and alive and we can.
Yes this is just a simple sweater. But it’s more for me. It’s a practice of leaning into discomfort, leaning into the mechanisms subtly running my choices and decisions. The old belief that life has to be hard to get good things. I will wrap my body in the reminder of abundance and the physical sensation of pleasure until it unravels I have to go find another one.
Have a beautiful day.