Jennifer Jade Merrihue
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FEEL LIKE A SALTY-BLOW-UP-SNOwMAN
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FEEL LIKE A SALTY-BLOW-UP-SNOW-MAN during the holidays!!!!
Combating the holiday blues when everyone around you is in themed sweaters...
I will be blasting #HOLIDAYHACKS throughout the next weeks to help get everyone through the holidays.
HOLIDAY HACK # 1: REACH OUT.
Personally, I love any excuse to celebrate pretty much anything.
But that is not the case for the majority of humans at this time of year. Holidays are a time of forced parties and a LOT of glittery noise that might not match what your internal existence might be feeling.
The general excitement and vibe buzzing around everything from commercials, coffee shops, tv shows, supermarkets, and offices can make people feel even more isolated and disconnected from their surroundings than normal. Especially if the blinking Rudolf, blasting music, x-mas trees, and Hanukah sweaters don’t match what you’re feeling on a daily basis.
Not to fret. During this season, you do not have to be alone. Sure I’m writing this from my own hermit hole, but that is the beauty of the age we live in now. Connection isn’t isolated to face-to-face-in-body-form-only. We can connect just by you reading this and knowing that there’s someone out here who loves and understands you.
For some of us, that’s more than enough. For others, phone/video calls or emails suffice. For others in person is great. That is the blessing of the digital age. You get to choose what kind of connection feels good to YOU.
Science Daily recently published an article saying that social media is in fact NOT abnormally contributing to depression and anxiety, which I wholeheartedly believe (insert sciencedaily.com link here). CAN it contribute, sure, like anything else. Is depression a guaranteed repercussion, not even a little. It depends entirely on your relationship with it and how much control/freedom you feel you have around it.
For us introverts, the digital age is a godsend.
Sure when I’m feeling like a salty, inflated, blow up snowman, waddling through my life trying to pull off a mini skirt- seeing an Instagram of the best bubble butt on the planet may impact the way I feel about myself and how much lack of control I feel have over my decisions, body, and life in general.
But GUESS WHAT. It also provides me with a powerful choice at that moment. A choice on what experience I want to cultivate in myself moment to moment.
Is it misery? Great then keep scrolling bubble butts and thinspo.
Is it inspiration and hope for myself and all of humanity? Then all it takes is TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT in that moment and practicing what feels GOOD and more pleasurable than torture.
If I take control of that small moment when blow-up-snowman-me is perving on Insta and I see the freedom of CHOICE + CONTROL I have to follow some inspirational health coaches, body positivity advocates, or sexy blow-up-snowmen who are just fucking owning where their body is at In real-time as they rock a mini-skirt. GUESS WHAT’S GONNA ACTUALLY inspire something other than misery???
I’ll give you a hint.
It’s not the first option.
Social media can be a force for good. A source of connection for people who don’t want to leave their couch or can’t muster the energy to, god save us, socialize in a holiday party where you don’t want to dress up like tinsletoe with people you can barely handle on a normal workday.
It's okay if you love those parties. It's okay if you love dressing up like slutty Santa and going on a pub crawl with thousands of other slutty Santa (see #SANTACON ). BUT it's not for everyone.
As an example, I am committed to being an open book and someone who prides myself on responding to every DM and message (unless it’s pervy, you know who you are and you know the difference!).
In this small way, I can contribute to alleviating loneliness, hopelessness, and the feeling of having to do it all by yourself. Especially during the holidays.
Do you know why I do this?
Because I lived most of my life over-performing and over-exerting this way. And believing I just had to do it all alone. Even when I was getting certified in a program with over 200 people who were all interested in supporting and helping humanity is the same way I want to - it was still hard to reach out in person.
I still believed I had to be a certain degree of put together to interact and socialize, to ask for help, to share with someone what I was really going through.
Well no more.
By making enough different choices- I was able to experience more connection, in my own preferred ways. I now understand the gift that it is to be able to have someone be there for me, in the same way I love being there for them.
When I do it all alone, I rob the people around me of doing what I love doing best (hence it being my job) and allowing them to be there for me.
This holiday season. Do something different. If you’re feeling it, reach out, say hi, ask a question, ask for tips. We’re in this together people!